Quote

Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Siding
Aluminum
Salesman
Dream
Become
Really

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
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Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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I would like to say, for the record, that I am in favor of using more American Indians and other minorities in motion pictures, I am against polluting the oceans of the world, I am for every nationality having its own homeland, I am against whacking baby seals on the head, and I am for saving the whales.
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
Johnny Carson
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
Johnny Carson
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
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