Quote

According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.

Johnny Carson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Side
Hear
Lotto
Sides
Jackpot
Winning
Relatives
Good
Lightning
Statistics
According
Easier

More quotes by Johnny Carson

Image
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
Johnny Carson
Image
I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
Johnny Carson
Image
Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
Johnny Carson
Image
Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
Johnny Carson
Image
I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
Johnny Carson
Image
Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
Johnny Carson
Image
I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
Johnny Carson
Image
Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
Johnny Carson
Image
Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
Johnny Carson
Image
I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
Johnny Carson
Image
Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.
Johnny Carson
Image
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Johnny Carson
Image
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
Johnny Carson
Image
If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
Johnny Carson
Image
Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
Johnny Carson
Image
Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
Johnny Carson
Image
People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
Johnny Carson
Image
Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
Johnny Carson
Image
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson
Image
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
Johnny Carson