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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Life
Private
Demand
Respect
Everybody
Else
Right

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Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
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I would like to say, for the record, that I am in favor of using more American Indians and other minorities in motion pictures, I am against polluting the oceans of the world, I am for every nationality having its own homeland, I am against whacking baby seals on the head, and I am for saving the whales.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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