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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Wants
Bigs
Jobs
Business
Majors
Ends
Entertainment
Thing
Major
Made
Cold
Like
Industry

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Only lie about the future.
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Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.
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There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.
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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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