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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Like
Industry
Wants
Bigs
Jobs
Business
Majors
Ends
Entertainment
Thing
Major
Made
Cold

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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
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Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
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Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
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As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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