Quote

I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.

Johnny Carson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Giving
Laughing
Entertainer
Trying
Boys
Phony
Make
Wants
Entertainers
Happen
Hypocrite
Public
Sincere
Doesn
Screen
Happens
Screens
Give
Completely

More quotes by Johnny Carson

Image
Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
Johnny Carson
Image
I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
Johnny Carson
Image
The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
Johnny Carson
Image
Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
Johnny Carson
Image
When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
Image
Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
Johnny Carson
Image
I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.
Johnny Carson
Image
Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
Johnny Carson
Image
Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
Johnny Carson
Image
Only lie about the future.
Johnny Carson
Image
According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
Johnny Carson
Image
The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
Johnny Carson
Image
What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
Johnny Carson
Image
We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.
Johnny Carson
Image
George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
Johnny Carson
Image
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Johnny Carson
Image
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Johnny Carson
Image
Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
Johnny Carson
Image
I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
Johnny Carson
Image
I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
Johnny Carson