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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Better
Couldn
Children
Parents
Honest
Rationalization
Stand
Divorce
Parent
Staying
Living
Miserable
Kids
Clean
Together
Sick

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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