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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Become
Jokes
Make
Politician
Office
Wouldn
Public
Interest
Rather
Slightest
Running
Politicians
More quotes by Johnny Carson
I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
Johnny Carson
What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
Johnny Carson
Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
Johnny Carson
Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
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As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
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We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
Johnny Carson