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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Make
Politician
Office
Wouldn
Public
Interest
Rather
Slightest
Running
Politicians
Become
Jokes

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.
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As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
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Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
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