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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Wouldn
Public
Interest
Rather
Slightest
Running
Politicians
Become
Jokes
Make
Politician
Office

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
Johnny Carson
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
Johnny Carson
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
Johnny Carson
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Johnny Carson
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
Johnny Carson
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They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
Johnny Carson
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
Johnny Carson
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
Johnny Carson
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Only lie about the future.
Johnny Carson