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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Interest
Rather
Slightest
Running
Politicians
Become
Jokes
Make
Politician
Office
Wouldn
Public

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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
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When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
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