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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Starts
Serious
Issues
Public
Given
Classifying
Someone
Humorist
Find
Humorists
Thoughtful

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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
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Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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