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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Thing
Really
Gives
Worry
Freedom
Bigs
Money
Giving
Important

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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
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George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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