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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Giving
Important
Thing
Really
Gives
Worry
Freedom
Bigs
Money
More quotes by Johnny Carson
Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
Johnny Carson
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
Johnny Carson
Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
Johnny Carson
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson
What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
Johnny Carson
Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
Johnny Carson
I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
Johnny Carson
I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
Johnny Carson
The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
Johnny Carson
Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
Johnny Carson
He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
Johnny Carson
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
Johnny Carson
I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
Johnny Carson
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
Johnny Carson
Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
Johnny Carson
I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
Johnny Carson
Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
Johnny Carson
