Quote

I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Thing
Anybody
Trying
Please
Way
Hurt
Business
Else
Live
Feel
Pleases
Feels
Sensible

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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I think it's almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that's really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There's not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
Johnny Carson
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
Johnny Carson