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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Whatever
Going
Criticized

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
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We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
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They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.
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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
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