Quote

They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Answers
Reproductive
Modern
Atomic
Hurt
Organs
Stop
Hockey
Stick
Sticks
Answer
Building
Rad

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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Only lie about the future.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
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When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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