Quote

They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Building
Rad
Answers
Reproductive
Modern
Atomic
Hurt
Organs
Stop
Hockey
Stick
Sticks
Answer

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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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