Quote

Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Happiness
Back
Pussycat
Tank
Tiger
Tanks
Tigers
Seat
Seats

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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
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There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
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Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
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