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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Back
Pussycat
Tank
Tiger
Tanks
Tigers
Seat
Seats
Happiness
More quotes by Johnny Carson
I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
Johnny Carson
I would like to say, for the record, that I am in favor of using more American Indians and other minorities in motion pictures, I am against polluting the oceans of the world, I am for every nationality having its own homeland, I am against whacking baby seals on the head, and I am for saving the whales.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
Johnny Carson
People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
Johnny Carson
I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
Johnny Carson
