Quote

In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Together
Remain
Eleanor
Children
Sake
Roosevelt
Men
Decided
Duck
Stay
Lame
White
Ducks
Herbert
President
Dressed
Hoax
House
Desperate
Hoaxes
Two
Discovered
Hoover

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Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
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We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
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