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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Happiness
Lifeguard
Girl
Muscular
Another
Admiring
Hands
Beach
Girls
Leave
Hand
Seeing
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
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