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Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Call
Adults
Doe
Questions
Wells
Fronts
Might
Front
Well
Stop
Rocker
Children
Wonder
Rockers
Asks
Porch
Child
Wondering

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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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I would like to say, for the record, that I am in favor of using more American Indians and other minorities in motion pictures, I am against polluting the oceans of the world, I am for every nationality having its own homeland, I am against whacking baby seals on the head, and I am for saving the whales.
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
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Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.
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Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
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They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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