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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Called
Stars
Best
Like
Sucking
Tradition
Hollywood
More quotes by Johnny Carson
May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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I think it's almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that's really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There's not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations.
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
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I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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