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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Two
Awards
Entertainment
Spread
Hour
Four
Annuals
Hours
Annual
Show
Sparkling
Shows
Academy

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
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Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
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You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
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I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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