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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Shows
Academy
Two
Awards
Entertainment
Spread
Hour
Four
Annuals
Hours
Annual
Show
Sparkling

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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
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George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
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I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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