Quote

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
People
Miles
Discover
Travel
Emotional
Turkeys
Year
Thanksgiving
Often
Holiday
Years
Thousands
Way
Drunk

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
Johnny Carson
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
Johnny Carson
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
Johnny Carson
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
Johnny Carson
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Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.
Johnny Carson
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
Johnny Carson