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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Often
Holiday
Years
Thousands
Way
Drunk
People
Miles
Discover
Travel
Emotional
Turkeys
Year
Thanksgiving
More quotes by Johnny Carson
The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
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Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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Only lie about the future.
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
