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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Valuable
Year
Getting
Every
Years
Stored
Champagne
Drinking
More quotes by Johnny Carson
Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
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Only lie about the future.
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There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
Johnny Carson
