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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Drinking
Valuable
Year
Getting
Every
Years
Stored
Champagne

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
Johnny Carson
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
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As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
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I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
Johnny Carson
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
Johnny Carson
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
Johnny Carson
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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
Johnny Carson
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
Johnny Carson
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
Johnny Carson
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
Johnny Carson
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
Johnny Carson