Quote

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Johnny Carson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Died
News
Funny
Today
Boomerang
Grenade
Inventor
Australia

More quotes by Johnny Carson

Image
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
Johnny Carson
Image
Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
Johnny Carson
Image
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
Johnny Carson
Image
They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
Johnny Carson
Image
Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
Johnny Carson
Image
According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
Johnny Carson
Image
Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.
Johnny Carson
Image
I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
Johnny Carson
Image
Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
Johnny Carson
Image
An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
Johnny Carson
Image
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
Image
We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.
Johnny Carson
Image
Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
Johnny Carson
Image
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Johnny Carson
Image
There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
Johnny Carson
Image
Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
Johnny Carson
Image
How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
Johnny Carson
Image
The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
Johnny Carson
Image
Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
Johnny Carson
Image
The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
Johnny Carson