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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
News
Funny
Today
Boomerang
Grenade
Inventor
Australia
Died
More quotes by Johnny Carson
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
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I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
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Only lie about the future.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
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I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
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I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
Johnny Carson
