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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Today
Boomerang
Grenade
Inventor
Australia
Died
News
Funny

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
Johnny Carson
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
Johnny Carson
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
Johnny Carson
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I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
Johnny Carson
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
Johnny Carson
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Johnny Carson
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I hated my last boss. He asked, Why are you two hours late? I said, I fell downstairs. He said, That doesn't take two hours.
Johnny Carson
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
Johnny Carson
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Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
Johnny Carson
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
Johnny Carson
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
Johnny Carson
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
Johnny Carson
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
Johnny Carson
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The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
Johnny Carson
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
Johnny Carson
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
Johnny Carson
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
Johnny Carson
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
Johnny Carson