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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Funny
Money
Giving
Thing
Worrying
Gives
Worry
Freedom

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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
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Happiness is discovering the prune juice your doctor ordered you to drink has fermented.
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George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
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Entertainment is like any other major industry it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made if you can't, you're out.
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
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