Quote

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Johnny Carson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Marriage
Funny
Bigs
Life
Leftover
Spam
Spice
Spices
Variety

More quotes by Johnny Carson

Image
Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
Johnny Carson
Image
When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
Image
I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
Johnny Carson
Image
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
Johnny Carson
Image
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
Johnny Carson
Image
I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
Johnny Carson
Image
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
Johnny Carson
Image
How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
Johnny Carson
Image
We resort, frankly, to pies, which is a comedy staple that's gone back, I guess, to since the first pie was ever baked.
Johnny Carson
Image
I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
Johnny Carson
Image
As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
Johnny Carson
Image
I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
Johnny Carson
Image
You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
Johnny Carson
Image
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Johnny Carson
Image
According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
Johnny Carson
Image
I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
Johnny Carson
Image
Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
Johnny Carson
Image
Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
Johnny Carson
Image
People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
Johnny Carson
Image
Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
Johnny Carson