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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Comedy
Taper
Days
Fingernails
Grows
Calls
Funny
Phone
Death
Phones
Continue
Grow
Hair

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
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I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.
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Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
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I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
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Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
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An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
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He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson