Quote

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Continue
Grow
Hair
Comedy
Taper
Days
Fingernails
Grows
Calls
Funny
Phone
Death
Phones

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
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I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
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Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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Happiness is a tiger in your tank and a pussycat in your back seat.
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As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.
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They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
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Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
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