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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Grows
Calls
Funny
Phone
Death
Phones
Continue
Grow
Hair
Comedy
Taper
Days
Fingernails

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
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I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
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It's the lack of this kind of open and honest education about sex that causes so many kids to grow up with sexual hang-ups.
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Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
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There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
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Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
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Only lie about the future.
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