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For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Continue
Grow
Hair
Comedy
Taper
Days
Fingernails
Grows
Calls
Funny
Phone
Death
Phones

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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
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I think it's almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that's really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There's not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations.
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When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
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Believe me, you don't walk away from the kind of money you make with a daily television show. You might get awful tired of it sometimes, but take a second look at the check and you get less tired right away.
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them.
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
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There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
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Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony.
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I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals.
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The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
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Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
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Only lie about the future.
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
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Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower.
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