Quote

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Johnny Carson

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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Littles
Little
Profanity
Never
Cursing
Filthy
Comedy
Word
Bigs
Use

More quotes by Johnny Carson

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I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
Johnny Carson
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Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.
Johnny Carson
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Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages.
Johnny Carson
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I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
Johnny Carson
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Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
Johnny Carson
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May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
Johnny Carson
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People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
Johnny Carson
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How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?
Johnny Carson
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I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.
Johnny Carson
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I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
Johnny Carson
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Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
Johnny Carson
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
Johnny Carson
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Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
Johnny Carson
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According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
Johnny Carson
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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
Johnny Carson
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Happiness is seeing your son drafted the same day he's been accepted to an expensive college.
Johnny Carson
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The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.
Johnny Carson
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I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
Johnny Carson
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A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
Johnny Carson
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I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
Johnny Carson