Quote

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Johnny Carson

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Dead
Alive
Impersonators
Funny
Elvis
Would
Fairness
Life
Clever
Fairs
Fair

More quotes by Johnny Carson

Image
George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
Johnny Carson
Image
I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
Johnny Carson
Image
Whatever you do, you're going to be criticized.
Johnny Carson
Image
Only lie about the future.
Johnny Carson
Image
Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds - one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively - the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.
Johnny Carson
Image
Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
Johnny Carson
Image
Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
Johnny Carson
Image
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson
Image
As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
Johnny Carson
Image
He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
Johnny Carson
Image
The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
Johnny Carson
Image
I feel the one sensible thing you can do is try to live in a way that pleases you. If you don't hurt anybody else, what you do is your own business.
Johnny Carson
Image
Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
Johnny Carson
Image
When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
Image
Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.
Johnny Carson
Image
You become successful, the way I see it, only if you're good enough to deliver what the public enjoys. If you're not, you won't have any audience so the performer really has more to do with his success than the public does.
Johnny Carson
Image
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
Johnny Carson
Image
An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
Johnny Carson
Image
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Johnny Carson
Image
I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
Johnny Carson