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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Life
Fairness
Clever
Fairs
Fair
Dead
Alive
Funny
Impersonators
Would
Elvis
More quotes by Johnny Carson
I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
Johnny Carson
I think it's almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that's really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There's not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations.
Johnny Carson
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
Johnny Carson
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Johnny Carson
I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
Johnny Carson
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
Johnny Carson
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
Johnny Carson
I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
Johnny Carson
An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
Johnny Carson
When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing around bolstering my ego. I'm secure. I know exactly who and what I am. I don't need to be told. I make no apologies for being the way I am.
Johnny Carson
As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a four-hour show.
Johnny Carson
I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
Johnny Carson
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
Johnny Carson
I think students ought to have the right to protest, but not to the point of anarchy.
Johnny Carson
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson
May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
Johnny Carson
What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?
Johnny Carson
Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.
Johnny Carson
I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
Johnny Carson
