Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Fair
Dead
Alive
Funny
Impersonators
Would
Elvis
Life
Fairness
Clever
Fairs
More quotes by Johnny Carson
I am one of the lucky people in the world I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.
Johnny Carson
May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!
Johnny Carson
I think it's almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that's really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There's not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations.
Johnny Carson
I don't think it's you that changes with success - it's the people around you who change. Because of your new status, they change in relation to you.
Johnny Carson
George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
Johnny Carson
According to statistics, it's a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: you don't hear from your relatives.
Johnny Carson
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
Johnny Carson
I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
Johnny Carson
A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.
Johnny Carson
The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered.
Johnny Carson
The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars.
Johnny Carson
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
Johnny Carson
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
Johnny Carson
Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.
Johnny Carson
Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.
Johnny Carson
I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.
Johnny Carson
If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
Johnny Carson
The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.
Johnny Carson
Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
Johnny Carson
There's a big difference between being a loner and being lonely. I'm far from lonely. My day is full of things I enjoy, starting with my show. Any time my work is going well and I have a relationship with a woman that's pretty solid, that does it for me.
Johnny Carson
