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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Johnny Carson
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Johnny Carson
Age: 79 †
Born: 1925
Born: October 23
Died: 2005
Died: January 23
Actor
Host
Journalist
Magician
Military Officer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Writer
Corning
Iowa
John William Carson
Carson
The Great Carsoni
Dinner
Radio
Dinners
Eating
Inventor
Television
Inventing
Food
Frozen
Funny
Witty
Stills
Weren
Still
Humorous
More quotes by Johnny Carson
People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'
Johnny Carson
Pie throwing is kind of a lost art, and although it may be a rather rudimentary, burlesque humor, there's something inherently funny about taking a pie in the face, under the right conditions.
Johnny Carson
Happiness is being served with a paternity suit on your 75th birthday.
Johnny Carson
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
Johnny Carson
George Burns has been on my show twenty or thirty times, or maybe more. How can you turn down a guy that age?
Johnny Carson
I demand my right to a private life, just as I respect that right for everybody else.
Johnny Carson
Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too.
Johnny Carson
I get sick of that old rationalization, We're staying together because of the children. Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
Johnny Carson
He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
Johnny Carson
I loved the towns I grew up in as a boy, and after I became a celebrity, I went back several times. I would have had the time of my life seeing the old places and the old faces again, but the attitude of those same people was, I guess you're so big we bore you now.
Johnny Carson
The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.
Johnny Carson
When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist.
Johnny Carson
I'm an entertainer I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.
Johnny Carson
I have an ego like anybody else, but I don't need to be stoked by going before the public all the time.
Johnny Carson
I'm an entertainer, not a commentator. If you're a comedian your job is to make people laugh.
Johnny Carson
I owe one thing to my public - the best performance I can give.
Johnny Carson
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
Johnny Carson
If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
Johnny Carson
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Johnny Carson
Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.
Johnny Carson
