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No comedy should be longer than 90 minutes. There's no such thing as a good long joke.
John Waters
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John Waters
Age: 78
Born: 1946
Born: April 22
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John Samuel Waters
John Samuel
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the Pope of Trash
Pope of Trash
the Duke of Dirty
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More quotes by John Waters
I don't believe in depression. There's no such thing. It's an invention. It's bullshit, it's a cop out.
John Waters
Ever feel like killing somebody just to see if you could get away with it? Sure, you have. Everybody has little things that get on their nerves.
John Waters
So many great people are dead, and so many assholes I know are still alive. Karma's bullshit. I wish it was true, but it ain't.
John Waters
I've always tried to keep reinventing myself and to keep appealing to young people and when I go to colleges now and do my spoken-word show it's astounding to me how I get older and the audience gets younger. To me, that's the best compliment. That's better than money, that's better than anything.
John Waters
The worst thing you can do is make a cult movie. That means you got three great reviews and nobody went. An art film means it got a lot of good reviews and nobody went. There is no such thing as a counter culture now. What used to be considered that is commercial now.
John Waters
Shutting down governments on your computer is just as much as fun as going to a riot at Yale.
John Waters
Stupid is never that entertaining. You can be stupid and sexy, stupid and funny but he's just plain stupid. That is not remarkable, that's what I mean.
John Waters
I never had any desire to get a tattoo. If I was ever going to get one, I would get a plain anchor with a rope around it, the most unimaginative possible tattoo, like Popeye had.
John Waters
I think Chelsea Girls is a complete masterpiece and I think Andy's [Warhol] films are equally as good as the art. I think one day they will be considered equal. They aren't yet. They will be.
John Waters
A psychiatrist once told me early in treatment, Stop trying to make me like you, and what a sobering and welcome smack in the face that statement was. Yet somehow, every day of my life is still a campaign for popularity, or better yet, a crowded funeral.
John Waters
If you ever go home with somebody and they don't have books in their house, don't sleep with them. I think that's very important.
John Waters
Valentine's Day is my mother's birthday. If I'm wildly in love, I've sent people chicken hearts, which seems to appeal to the kind of person that I've been in love with.
John Waters
I make independent movies. I don't know how to do anything else. I don't know any other job that I could really get.
John Waters
I think the extremes are something that's really interesting to see coalesce in movies.
John Waters
Stop blaming your parents. If you're really angry at 60 years old, you're an idiot! You've got to work some of it out.
John Waters
Dreamland Studios then was my bedroom at my parents' house, mostly [starring] people who were in my high school. They look straight at the camera they're uncomfortable doing it. So, are [early movies] good? No.
John Waters
Catholics have more extreme sex lives because they're taught that pleasure is bad for you. Who thinks it's normal to kneel down to a naked man who's nailed to a cross? It's like a bad leather bar.
John Waters
I was as equally influenced by Bergman as I was [low-budget sexploitation filmmaker].
John Waters
The further away I am from water, the less well I do!
John Waters
I've signed dicks, asses, parole cards, a colostomy bag while it was still pumping. A couple of years ago, I signed a bloody Tampax. That's one you don't forget. I'm not asking for someone to top that!
John Waters
