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No comedy should be longer than 90 minutes. There's no such thing as a good long joke.
John Waters
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John Waters
Age: 78
Born: 1946
Born: April 22
Actor
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Baltimore
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John Samuel Waters
John Samuel
Jr. Waters
the Pope of Trash
Pope of Trash
the Duke of Dirty
Duke of Dirty
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More quotes by John Waters
I love hipsters! Yes, I think they're hilarious. The really cute ones try to look ugly just to prove I can't be ugly. Normcore was kind of funny too.
John Waters
Hitchhiking, intrinsically, is sexual and dangerous. At the same time I never really felt scared. I was scared that nobody would pick me up and that I'd be waiting by the side of the road for a week.
John Waters
Stupid is never that entertaining. You can be stupid and sexy, stupid and funny but he's just plain stupid. That is not remarkable, that's what I mean.
John Waters
I keep on having ideas and developments. Some happen and some don't, but I still always have a way of telling a story.
John Waters
I'm the smartest at 8 A.M. I wake up at 6, drink three cups of Awake Tazo Tea and read five newspapers. I have to think up something every day, Monday to Friday.
John Waters
I have spoken, and I was understood. It's not like I'm a tragic person who wasn't understood. All those books are in print, all those movies are still out there, the audience gets younger. So I don't have that I've got to do one thing before I die. I did it.
John Waters
With Hairspray, we had a great experience. I always think of the last time I saw Divine: He was in the last booth in the back of the Odeon. Now every time I go in there, I look at that table. It was a wonderful night.Hairspray had been out a week it was a hit. If I had to pick a night that was going to be the last night.
John Waters
Wealth is walking into any bookshop and buying any book you want without looking at the price tag.
John Waters
True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.
John Waters
Humor is how you change people's opinions, and if you can make someone laugh, they'll listen, even if they hate you.
John Waters
There are little things that get on my nerves, like people who have reading material in their powder room. When you go in someone’s house, and next to the toilet they have a huge basket of magazines, I find that repellent. I recommend against straining while reading.
John Waters
When I was young, no one wanted to be one now even the President of the United States would call himself an outsider. So now I'm for insiders.
John Waters
As far as socially redeeming value, I hope I don't have any.
John Waters
When they throw the water on the witch, she says, “Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness”. That line inspired my life. I sometimes say it to myself before I go to sleep, like a prayer.
John Waters
The further away I am from water, the less well I do!
John Waters
I always want to see films that are startling and amazing. Not just shocking. Shocking is easy to do. But startling in the way that makes you change how you think about things. Those are the movies I like the best.
John Waters
I've had it with being nice, understanding, fair and hopeful. I feel like being negative all day. The chip on my shoulder could sink the QE2. I've got an attitude problem and nobody better get in my way...I'm in a bad mood and the whole stupid little world is gonna pay!
John Waters
I loved Cookie [Mueller]. She was a much better writer than actress. She shouldn't have stuck with me in the beginning she should have immediately become a writer. She would have had more of a chance.
John Waters
If you purposefully look to shock people, it isn't funny. That's what 50 million dollar Hollywood comedies do try to be shocking and dirty.
John Waters
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I don't have to do anything except bring wine and go to my sister's all day and go to the movies with the family. So, actually, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but there's not much comedy material on Thanksgiving. Melatonin really isn't that funny.
John Waters
