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No comedy should be longer than 90 minutes. There's no such thing as a good long joke.
John Waters
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John Waters
Age: 78
Born: 1946
Born: April 22
Actor
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Baltimore
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John Samuel Waters
John Samuel
Jr. Waters
the Pope of Trash
Pope of Trash
the Duke of Dirty
Duke of Dirty
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More quotes by John Waters
Everyone wants to be called an outsider so I'm a proud insider. If I was young I'd be in my parents' house shutting down the government on my computer. The new delinquent is the hacker.
John Waters
I've always tried to keep reinventing myself and to keep appealing to young people and when I go to colleges now and do my spoken-word show it's astounding to me how I get older and the audience gets younger. To me, that's the best compliment. That's better than money, that's better than anything.
John Waters
I don't like heroin, unless you're a jazz musician and then you have to be on it because jazz is the sound of heroin.
John Waters
Humor is how you change people's opinions, and if you can make someone laugh, they'll listen, even if they hate you.
John Waters
I love hipsters! Yes, I think they're hilarious. The really cute ones try to look ugly just to prove I can't be ugly. Normcore was kind of funny too.
John Waters
You see a kid making a film on a cell phone. He doesn't know what he's doing either. But it comes out kind of good.
John Waters
And I seek people who break rules with happiness — and not bringing pain to themselves.
John Waters
I think the best article was the article about radical feminists being against transgender women. I found that the most fascinating article and I absolutely loved it. I love battles within the gay community or feminist community. I love radical theorists.
John Waters
The further away I am from water, the less well I do!
John Waters
I like rap music. But bragging about being rich to poor people is really offensive. I want to hear a rap song about buying a Cy Twombly painting or dating a museum curator. I want to hear about that kind of rich.
John Waters
I tried heroin. I shot up in high school, but I just thought it was so dreary: puking and nodding.
John Waters
I think Chelsea Girls is a complete masterpiece and I think Andy's [Warhol] films are equally as good as the art. I think one day they will be considered equal. They aren't yet. They will be.
John Waters
I've had it with being nice, understanding, fair and hopeful. I feel like being negative all day. The chip on my shoulder could sink the QE2. I've got an attitude problem and nobody better get in my way...I'm in a bad mood and the whole stupid little world is gonna pay!
John Waters
I keep on having ideas and developments. Some happen and some don't, but I still always have a way of telling a story.
John Waters
Stop blaming your parents. If you're really angry at 60 years old, you're an idiot! You've got to work some of it out.
John Waters
Sometimes I wish I was a woman, just so I could have an abortion.
John Waters
Everybody should wish they had home movies of themselves, acting out their lunacy on LSD.
John Waters
Maybe I'll just write books. I'd like to make another movie, but I don't want to go back and [do] what they want you to do, to make it for a million dollars. I did that. I don't need a lot, but I need what I used to get, and they don't give you that anymore.
John Waters
Not wanting anyone to pop my bubble by speaking to me, I immediately began reading Lesbian Nuns, and that did the trick. No one attempted small talk.
John Waters
Many hundred-million-dollar Hollywood comedies aren't any good. They're trying to shock you.
John Waters
