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I mean, what is prison, really, except a good bar without the liquor?

John Waters

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John Waters
Age: 78
Born: 1946
Born: April 22
Actor
Art Collector
Cinematographer
Director
Drawer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Editor
Film Producer
Filmmaker
Installation Artist
Baltimore
Maryland
John Samuel Waters
John Samuel
Jr. Waters
the Pope of Trash
Pope of Trash
the Duke of Dirty
Duke of Dirty
Except
Without
Mean
Really
Good
Liquor
Bars
Prison

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You have to remember that it is impossible to commit a crime while reading a book.
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There is right and there is wrong, I have NEVER been wrong.
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I've signed peoples' parole cards at book signings and it's very touching.
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The way I photograph... in many ways it's directed by chance and all my mistakes, which are often the best stuff. I found that no matter if it's the same tape, the same TV, and the same camera, I can never duplicate an image... your arm jiggles, there's just too much chance. And I never put it on pause, or use any of that fancy equipment.
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Everything makes you who you are, so I was lucky that I had a good family that was horrified by what I wanted to do but was also supportive of it, right to the very end.
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Dreamland Studios then was my bedroom at my parents' house, mostly [starring] people who were in my high school. They look straight at the camera they're uncomfortable doing it. So, are [early movies] good? No.
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I have to talk about my movies. I have to give interviews to promote what I'm doing. But no one really knows my personal life. And if you don't have a personal life I feel bad for you.
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Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I don't have to do anything except bring wine and go to my sister's all day and go to the movies with the family. So, actually, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but there's not much comedy material on Thanksgiving. Melatonin really isn't that funny.
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People still come to Baltimore and say, I didn't realize you made documentaries.
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I've bought the same used car from the same man since I was 16 - a Buick every time. They always work, I don't care what color it is. I don't want people to recognize my car in case I want to commit a crime.
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Catholics have more extreme sex lives because they're taught that pleasure is bad for you. Who thinks it's normal to kneel down to a naked man who's nailed to a cross? It's like a bad leather bar.
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The only way I've learned to change anyone's mind politically is to make them laugh. My whole career has been about that.
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And I seek people who break rules with happiness — and not bringing pain to themselves.
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It`s great to be able to drive around and spy on people, which I do when I'm writing. People tell me the most personal things about their lives for no reason - on airplanes, everywhere I go. People just blurt out secrets. I'm not sure why. I think that they see in my films that nothing will make me uptight. I'm not going to judge them.
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I don't believe in depression. There's no such thing. It's an invention. It's bullshit, it's a cop out.
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Many hundred-million-dollar Hollywood comedies aren't any good. They're trying to shock you.
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The worst thing you can do is make a cult movie. That means you got three great reviews and nobody went. An art film means it got a lot of good reviews and nobody went. There is no such thing as a counter culture now. What used to be considered that is commercial now.
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I've signed dicks, asses, parole cards, a colostomy bag while it was still pumping. A couple of years ago, I signed a bloody Tampax. That's one you don't forget. I'm not asking for someone to top that!
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I used to joke that I was trying to sell out, and nobody would buy me.
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I probably would have made [films] anywhere. Every city has something they're ashamed of. I would have made films about it and turned it into something positive.
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