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I used to joke that I was trying to sell out, and nobody would buy me.

John Waters

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John Waters
Age: 78
Born: 1946
Born: April 22
Actor
Art Collector
Cinematographer
Director
Drawer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Editor
Film Producer
Filmmaker
Installation Artist
Baltimore
Maryland
John Samuel Waters
John Samuel
Jr. Waters
the Pope of Trash
Pope of Trash
the Duke of Dirty
Duke of Dirty
Would
Joke
Sell
Sells
Jokes
Nobody
Used
Trying

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When I started my goal was to make a successful underground movie. I started making movies in the mid-60s. Underground cinema then only lasted about two or three years.
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The worst thing you can do is make a cult movie. That means you got three great reviews and nobody went. An art film means it got a lot of good reviews and nobody went. There is no such thing as a counter culture now. What used to be considered that is commercial now.
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I could never kill myself. I approve of suicide if you have horrible health. Otherwise it's the ultimate hissy fit.
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The only time I had a normal boyfriend was during the time of AIDS, so maybe that saved me. It's certainly not karma.
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It took me a while to figure it out, but to have a real hit on Broadway, you have to get the respected Broadway people to like it. But then the production also has to appeal to the most middle-class people who know nothing about Broadway and who come to see it later.
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Dreamland Studios then was my bedroom at my parents' house, mostly [starring] people who were in my high school. They look straight at the camera they're uncomfortable doing it. So, are [early movies] good? No.
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Catholics have more extreme sex lives because they're taught that pleasure is bad for you. Who thinks it's normal to kneel down to a naked man who's nailed to a cross? It's like a bad leather bar.
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How could you think of such awful things? liberal critics always ask. How else could I possibly amuse myself? I always wonder.
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An underground hit didn't make any money and it cost a dollar to get in.
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A psychiatrist once told me early in treatment, Stop trying to make me like you, and what a sobering and welcome smack in the face that statement was. Yet somehow, every day of my life is still a campaign for popularity, or better yet, a crowded funeral.
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And I seek people who break rules with happiness — and not bringing pain to themselves.
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I came from a generation where women were almost deified, and like Groucho Marx's line, I wouldn't want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member, I thought, I wouldn't want to sleep with a woman who would sleep with me! It took me a long time to work my way through that.
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Going to a sensational murder trial is the only way I can relax.
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Stop blaming your parents. If you're really angry at 60 years old, you're an idiot! You've got to work some of it out.
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I've always tried to keep reinventing myself and to keep appealing to young people and when I go to colleges now and do my spoken-word show it's astounding to me how I get older and the audience gets younger. To me, that's the best compliment. That's better than money, that's better than anything.
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I don't like heroin, unless you're a jazz musician and then you have to be on it because jazz is the sound of heroin.
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I'd rather have a daughter in a whorehouse than a son in the police force,' Esther used to rage to anyone who would listen.
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I understand why people want to look up their friends - usually they want to see what people they've wanted to have sex with look like.
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Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I don't have to do anything except bring wine and go to my sister's all day and go to the movies with the family. So, actually, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but there's not much comedy material on Thanksgiving. Melatonin really isn't that funny.
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Don’t sleep with people who don’t read.
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