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If the universe is bigger and stranger than I can imagine, it's best to meet it with an empty bladder.

John Scalzi

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John Scalzi
Age: 55
Born: 1969
Born: May 10
Author
Blogger
Film Critic
Journalist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Fairfield
California
John Michael Scalzi II
Meet
Imagine
Universe
Best
Bladder
Stranger
Empty
Bigger

More quotes by John Scalzi

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The story of how I left Huckleberry begins -- as do all worthy stories -- with a goat
John Scalzi
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Engrave this in your brain: EVERY WRITER GETS REJECTED. You will be no different.
John Scalzi
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I'm not insane, sir. I have a finely calibrated sense of acceptable risk.
John Scalzi
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The more I want a book to be done, the faster I type because I just want to get it out.
John Scalzi
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Guns don’t kill people. The aliens behind the triggers do.
John Scalzi
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I didn't mind getting old when I was young. It's the being old now that's getting to me.
John Scalzi
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Reddit is not a public utility or a public square its a privately owned space on the Internet.
John Scalzi
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The Scooby gang doesn't travel because they are looking for crimes to solve. They travel because they're one step ahead of the deprogrammers. Somehow, Fred's got them all snookered. It probably has something to do with the Scooby Snacks.
John Scalzi
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I do think people of good will can have different opinions but still be coming not from a place of malice.
John Scalzi
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The original sin of Republicans is greed. Everyone understands greed. Everybody wants to get theirs. The original sin of Democrats is pity. Greed is more attractive, and a better motivator, than pity.
John Scalzi
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Star Wars is not entertainment. Star Wars is George Lucas masturbating to a picture of Joseph Campbell and conning billions of people into watching the money shot.
John Scalzi
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I know a little bit about deaf culture because a friend of mine has been in the deaf culture for awhile. Over the course of 25 years, she and I have talked about many of the issues and concerns for deaf people and deaf culture.
John Scalzi
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My marriage had its ups and downs like anyone's, but when it came down to it, I knew it was solid. I miss that sort of security, and that sort of connection with someone.
John Scalzi
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We've already established whoever is writing us is an asshole.
John Scalzi
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Don’t discount that part of who he was just because you didn’t know it. None of us are all of who we are to any one person.
John Scalzi
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I failed angst in high school. They let me graduate anyway.
John Scalzi
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There's a difference between the fact that the universe is inherently unfair on a cosmic level, and the fact that life is unfair because people are actively making it so.
John Scalzi
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I will not let my sales figures dictate what I say on the blog, because the blog is what I want to say.
John Scalzi
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Here's a quick rule of thumb: Don't annoy science fiction writers. These are people who destroy entire planets before lunch. Think of what they'll do to you.
John Scalzi
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If your flirting strategy is indistinguishable from harassment, it's not everyone else that's the problem.
John Scalzi