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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Enough
Way
Imbibing
Oxygen
Water
Facts
Care
Live

More quotes by John Oliver

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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
John Oliver
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I don't think I'm identified as the anchorman, I think I'm identified as the impostor anchorman - there's a very clear line there ... I don't think it changes the way they respond.
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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
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If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight.
John Oliver
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I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.
John Oliver
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I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.
John Oliver
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
John Oliver
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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
John Oliver
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I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
John Oliver
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I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
John Oliver
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I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
John Oliver
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
John Oliver
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There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can’t hurt you anymore when you’ve been completely dismantled.
John Oliver
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It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.
John Oliver
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
John Oliver
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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
John Oliver