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When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth.
John Oliver
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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Ends
Mouth
Doe
Speaking
Problem
Mouths
Mean
Problems
Make
Heard
Flatulence
Men
Funny
Rear
Means
Louder
Moments
Hitler
More quotes by John Oliver
Welcome to The Daily Show, I'm John Oliver. Jon Stewart is still not here. He is currently living out a live-action Lord of the Rings role-playing experience deep in the New Zealand wilderness.
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
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You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.
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Pumpkin spice lattes are egg nog for morning people.
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
John Oliver
You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
John Oliver
In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
John Oliver
Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being.
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I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
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I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have.
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I care about facts the way I care about oxygen and imbibing enough water a day to live.
John Oliver
My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
John Oliver
I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
John Oliver
I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
John Oliver
Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
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I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
John Oliver
Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
John Oliver
Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
John Oliver
I'm British. I don't really have access to my emotions on a daily basis.
John Oliver
If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
John Oliver
