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I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
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Listening
Please
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Cannot
Interview
May
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Immigration

More quotes by John Oliver

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In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying you want to project your jokes into their face.
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Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.
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The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong.
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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
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Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
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I'm always interested in audience interaction. Not so much aggressive audience interaction - I'm genuinely interested in how people see things.
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
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Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
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Sometimes it's good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest.
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Politics has become infused with narcissism in America.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
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You're sonically racist, Americans. You think we all sound the same, whereas I have definitely a mongrel accent.
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It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
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Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.
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Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
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