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I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
May
Interviews
Enough
Immigration
Make
Authority
Listening
Please
Leave
Clear
Authorities
Cannot
Interview

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I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression.
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Armando Iannucci is one of my heroes. As I was growing up, he was probably the most influential comic voice that I had.
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People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
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I'm British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything.
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Florida, just because you're shaped like some combination of a gun and a d*ck doesn't mean you have to act that way.
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
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I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
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I would hate to meet myself at 15.
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Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'
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When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.
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Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
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One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.
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When I heard that Hitler had problems with flatulence, it's funny. What - does that make him a funny man? No. It means he had funny moments when his rear end was speaking louder than his mouth.
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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
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Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
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If you’re asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
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Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh.
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It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.
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Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are 'featuring Sting,'
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Everybody should care about facts. That is something all of us should agree on.
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