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People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on The Daily Show ... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.

John Oliver

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John Oliver
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: April 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Journalist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Writer
John William Oliver
Shows
Humor
Anchor
Come
Stand
Anchors
Would
Mistake
Broads
Think
Anyone
Broad
Thinking
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People
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Generally
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Daily
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More quotes by John Oliver

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Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.
John Oliver
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I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
John Oliver
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My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
John Oliver
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
John Oliver
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Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word.
John Oliver
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I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider's eye. And so I have an outsider's voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don't belong here. And I think that helps in a way.
John Oliver
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I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.
John Oliver
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My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
John Oliver
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Democracy is like a tambourine, not everyone can be trusted with it.
John Oliver
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I feel non-stop Brit shame!
John Oliver
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I think I'm just a summer fling that people will soon forget.
John Oliver
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Americans just don't understand dry wit.
John Oliver
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Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing.
John Oliver
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Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.
John Oliver
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Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
John Oliver
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Congress never loses its capacity to disappoint you.
John Oliver
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Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.
John Oliver
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The disconnect between America and its military is shocking.
John Oliver
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If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.
John Oliver
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Every empire has to get sucked down the drain. As a British person, I know how it feels.
John Oliver